Dirty Den Grantham, star of TV's Eastenders, has been chosen by Her Majesty to recieve a top gong for not shooting any taxi drivers in the back of the head since 3rd December 1966.
Del Boy (real name Leslie Crowther) was said to be delighted with the award. "I Love It" he said from his webcam, sucking his finger seductively.
Fellow cast member and recently deceased Pauline Fouler (real name Miss Jones out of Mollie Sugden's pussy) spoke yesterday "It's something of an achievement for Dirty, 43 years is a long time to not shoot any taxi drivers in the back of the head, gawd bless im"
Dirty Del Boy's missus, Anita Dirty Dobson, was unavailable for comment last night, as she has been missing for some time, and was last seen getting into a taxi with Del some time ago.
We approached Dirty Del Boy (real name Den Trotter) last night to explain his wife's disappearance, but he was busy humping a rolled up carpet into a wheelie bin round the back of the Queen Vic.
Dirty refused to comment, stating only "Fack orf you schlaaaag, else I'll cutcha"