Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: conan o'brien

Friday, 8 January 2010

image for Conan O'Brien Says He Misses New York So Much He Can Almost Taste It
The Brooklyn Bridge which was built totally from a two cent city tax on Coney Island hot dogs.

HOLLYWOOD - The host of The Tonight Show, Conan O'Brien says that he wants to return to New York City.

He told his hairstylist Dimples DuJour that he misses New York City so much that each night when he goes to bed he says he can almost taste the city that never sleeps.

When asked what New York City tastes like he replies, "New York City tastes like a big juicy apple."

He confessed that he hates living out in California. He said that yes there are avocado trees growing on every corner, and orange trees as well, but he doesn't care because avocados make him break out in hives and oranges give him the sh*ts.

He also said that he cannot stand earthquakes and that the other day when a 2.9 quake hit it caused him to spill his Lucky Charms Cereal all over his pants.

Luckily his charming maid, Bertha was there and she wiped the milk off his crotch and she picked the cereal and the tiny marshmallows out of his zipper.

O'Brien said that he wants to return to New York because he misses hearing people cuss in over 128 different languages. He also misses reading the graffiti on the subway trains.

Conan then got a tear in his eye and said that he also misses hearing New Yorkers argue about who is better the Yankees or the Mets, the Giants or the Jets, the Rangers or the Islanders.

SIDENOTE: Be careful what you wish for Conan...you just might get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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