Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 7 January 2010

image for Paula Abdul Found Wandering Listlessly At A Mall In Tarzana
Some of the crowd at Tarzana's Orange Seeds Mall.

TARZANA - Paula Abdul, the ex-American Idol judge who was fired because she was offered $10 million and she wanted $20 million was spotted wandering around listlessly at Tarzana's Orange Seeds Mall.

Abdul was dressed in a Los Angeles Lakers halter top, with a Los Angeles Dodgers short shorts, and she was barefoot.

She was approached by a mall security guard and asked if she was alright. She instantly replied that she was Paula Abdul and of course she wasn't alright.

She then yelled out that if she was alright she would still be on that effen reality show American Idol.

The guard offered to escort her to her car. Abdul looked at him and replied, "And who the hell told you that I have a car? Are you stalking me or what?"

The guard told her that he just wanted to make sure that no one molested her. She asked "Why, what have you heard?"

The guard said that he hadn't heard anything.

Abdul told him that he was lying. She said she could tell because her left elbow was starting to wiggle by itself and that was a sign.

The guard told her to have herself a good day and to not let anyone sneak up behind her and touch her chundini.

"My what?" Abdul asked.

"Adios Paulita" The guard stated.

In other news. Cloris Leachman says that she has gotten into the retail business. Cloris is selling The brand new 2010 Cloris Leachman Designer Walker, available in three vibrant colors, hungover eyes red, old lady hair blue, and stretch mark pink.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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