Written by P.M. Wortham
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Wednesday, 6 January 2010

image for Mariah Carey Celebrates Movie Award with New Bustier
The bestest actress to fill out an evening gown award.

Reportedly stumbling through her acceptance speech as well as across the stage on her exit, Mariah Carey nearly fell out of her new, dramatically "pushed up" bustier while receiving an industry movie award.

Giving a new meaning to the term "serious cleavage", the singer turned actress received honors for her role in the film "Precious", winning the Breakthrough Actress Award for 2010. Replete with posse members at her side, literally in one case to help her out to the award podium, Carey developed the giggles and had difficulty reading the teleprompter during her speech. Attendees at the awards show wondered privately if it was actually more difficult to squeeze herself into her bustier and sequined gown.

Regional design consultant for Victoria's Closet, Hy Dabone, commented after the awards ceremony, "It was like seeing two large pink hams stuffed into a five pound potato sack and wondering which one would pop out first. She was a breakthrough award winner in many ways tonight."

As Carey left the ceremony, bent at the waist to take a seat in her limo, five quarters and a roll of dimes popped out of her chest and fell to the pavement. "Ah, There's where I put the parking meter change", Carey was heard to say. The posse cleaned up the evidence as Carey's limo pulled away.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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