Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 6 January 2010

image for Zac and Vanessa To Perform For The U.S. Troops In Detroit
Unemployed Detroit women shopping at a downtown food stamp exchange store.

HOLLYWOOD - Zac Efron's agent has just confirmed that he and Vanessa Hudgens have agreed to perform a concert for the American combat troops currently stationed in Detroit.

Hayden Applebocker, Efron's agent said that he has been approached by the mayor of Detroit Flondell McJefferson about possibly having Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens travel to Detroit to entertain the combat weary troops.

He added that his soldiers have been under tremendous stress due to the rampant lawlessness that has plagued Motown since the closing of 7 automotive plants, the closing of 19 KFC's, and the combined 2008-2009 Detroit Lions pitifully pathetic record of 2-30.

Mayor McJefferson said that he recently spoke to General Bogart V. Goodlocker, who is in charge of the U.S. troops stationed in Detroit, and he expressed to him that in his 37 year military career he has never seen soldiers more depressed, disheartened, and stressed out as the members of his 103rd Airborne Division, The Fightin' Titans.

General Goodlocker said that he served five tours of duty in Vietnam and was stationed at hell holes such as Khe Sahn, Khe Paso, and Khe Sera Sera and he has never seen a more dejected bunch of American fighting men (and 4 women).

He pointed out that last Thanksgiving Jay Leno came to Detroit to entertain the troops and he put on a two hour one-man show, but when he left the men were even sadder and more depressed than before.

The General pointed out that on Christmas Eve three soldiers defected to Iraq. Two were caught and returned back to Detroit and the third is reportedly hiding in some desert cave somewhere vowing that they will not take him back to Detroit alive.

Mayor McJefferson said that he conducted a poll and asked his troops who they would like to see come to Detroit to entertain them and Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens were the number two and number three choices.

When asked who was the first choice he replied that it was Angelina Jolie. The mayor remarked that they had contacted Jolie in her home in France, about performing for the American troops in Detroit, but she said that she could not do it because she was very busy adopting more children.

In other news. Word out of the Miley Cyrus camp is that she has decided to cancel her planned Spring concert tour of Kenya. She cited three reasons; she is allergic to jungle vines, she has a tremendous fear of zebras, and she is scared to death of being eaten by cannibals.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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