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Topics: Twins

Monday, 4 January 2010

image for One Co-Joined Twin Gets Scholarship Offer to Harvard, While Other Only Gets Accepted At Community College
The McBrian sisters, when lifes problems didn't involve huge decisions

Mary McBriar is the class Valedictorian. Her co-joined twin sister Terry is passing only because she has been able to copy Mary's papers over the years (she failed both study hall and lunch). This week, Mary received word that she will have a full ride scholarship to Harvard University. Terry, however, received a letter telling her that acceptance to Clark County Community College is provisionary and that she will start on academic probation.

What's a girl to do?

The Pissgums twins, boyfriends of the McBriar sisters, have no clue what to advise them. They did not take the college route and have considered spending the next few years working in the Navy, Coast Guard, or Merchant Marine to save money for marriage.

When asked how she felt, Terry said "I don't want to live in some place like Boston. Nobody can pronounce anything right. It's almost like the letter "R" disappeared from the alphabet. You paak your caa, you eat your caan on the caab. There's nothing for me in Boston….except maybe a few of the Red Sox."

Mary, meanwhile, is equally upset. "I didn't work and slave through thirteen years of school to get where I am today to go to community college! It's just glorified high school for people who can't pass a GED test. What do they expect me to major in, being a maid?"

The sisters may have no recourse but to settle for education at a state university. Only time will tell with this life changing decision.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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