Written by IainB
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Monday, 4 January 2010

image for James Cameron's Avatar breaks box office records
The leading lady is also blue

The new film from High Budget Film Maker James Cameron, Avatar, has broken all kinds of box office records in it's first fortnight since it's release.

Obviously, it is the most expensive movie ever made, as James Cameron insists that each movie he makes is just that. He has previously covered the real New York in six feet of real snow, blown up the real White House and raised the real Titanic in order to add realism to his films.

Obviously, also, it is the highest grossing film EVER. In thirteen days it has taken more money in box office receipts than every other film ever made combined, and shows no sign of slowing. It has already taken over a billion dollars. this means it has also broken the record for the film seen by the most number of people, and the film watched at the cinema by the same person more times than any other (Hamish Turley of Hokum, Alabama, who has watched it non stop for thirteen days, and has no seen it over twelve hundred times).

Less obviously, it is now the most highly pirated movie ever produced, with an estimated three billion dollars going into the hands of pirates. According to the FBI, this will be used to run drugs and money, despite the obvious conclusion that pirating this film is far more profitable than either of those endeavours.

But is it any good?

Strangely, we were unable to find anybody who would admit to having seen the film, all the people stopped said they would go and see it, but had not seen it yet. The bullet was bitten, and I went. It was rubbish.

Bizarrely, the cinema was packed by avatars from World of Warcraft, Second Life and Imvu. I was the only real person there.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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