Written by Kenneth Manboobs
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Friday, 17 September 2004

image for VH1's Search for new Partridge Family goes "Horribly Wrong"
"Mistakes were made" comments top VH1 official

Los Angeles - Disaster has struck the VH1 set of the new reality show "In Search of the Partridge Family". Apparently one of the contestants brought in for the "battle of the Keiths" segment was actually a black bear.

At press time there was no word on exactly how many of the 32 contestants were taken to a nearby hospital for treatment, but eye witnesses put at least one Keith hopeful in critical condition and have dozens of others nursing "unfeathered feathered hair".

Lucas Reilly, of Boulder, CO was getting ready for his introduction when disaster struck. "I was getting ready to say my line, "Hi, I'm Lucas and I'm your sha na na na new Keith Partridge", when number ten started mauling a makeup person." Lucas paused, "There was so much glitter everywhere, so much glitter…"

A VH1 official commented that no one is sure how the bear got on stage or passed the initial screening. Supposedly the bear beat out one hundred and seventeen other contestants to make the final cut for taping. Requirements for the tryouts include singing, dancing, and playing an instrument. "He must have done something right", commented the official.

Taping for the reality show has temporarily been halted while executives try to put the pieces together and decide what, if anything, should be done to continue. At the same time workers continue to track down the bear. After the Partridge incident the animal appeared to take up refuge in another house on the VH1 lot.

"We've currently cornered the bear inside the ‘Surreal Life' house", said Chief lot security office Wade Davis. "Currently we are negotiating with Bridget Neilson. She appears to have the bear in a headlock in her room. She's asking for another ‘15 minutes' and horse tranquilizers."

This incident is sure to deal the burgeoning VH1 reality show division a blow, but it could have been worse according to Davis. "Had the bear made its way into the main studio rather than the ‘Surreal Life' house, we could have been looking at some real damage." VH1 is currently taping "I Love the 40's", a spin-off on the popular "I Love…" series. "Hal Sparks crapped himself when he heard about the bear," said Davis. "He's such a girl."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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