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Sunday, 3 January 2010

image for Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, And Amy Winehouse To Perform On 47-City U.S. - U.K. Tour
Part of the crowd in Austin, Texas, in line to purchase tickets to The Bubbly, Bubbly, and Ugly Tour of 2010.

LOS ANGELES - The On The Road Again Concert Promoters Agency of Pasadena, California has just informed the music media that Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and Amy Winehouse have all agreed to a 47-city concert tour of the United States and the United Kingdom.

The tour being billed as The Bubbly, Bubbly, and Ugly Tour of 2010, will kick off in Cody, Wyoming, home of the great grandmother of Miley Cyrus, Eureka Roberta Luxnugatti, who will turn 104, on February 14.

After their Cody date the touring trio will perform at The Frozen World Convention Center in Aberdeen, South Dakota.

The FWCC has only just recently been re-opened after having been completely renovated due to the fact that back on December 7, of 2008, when the temperature dipped down to minus 29, the roof cracked sending 94 tons of snow crashing into the convention center's stage, seats, and two custodians.

Emergency workers worked feverishly to try and dig out the two snow covered employees. After about three hours both men were uncovered.

They were rushed by an ambulance that hit speeds of 120 miles per hour to the local hospital and immediately placed in the hospitals thawing out room.

After about 45 minutes both men completely thawed out and basically got back to normal, except for the snow burns to their tongues, ears, and groin regions.

Dr. Zeppo Zweegers, who is the state's leading snow doctor, stated that the tongue and ear burns should completely heal within three weeks.

He then added that in regards to the groin region snow burns, those may take up to four months to completely heal.

The doctor added that it all depends on how often the two men have sex, of course not with each other, because that would be sort of on the gay side and South Dakota has a very strict by law prohibiting any sort of gay activity within its borders.

The two custodians were identified as Kendo Akiyama, 47, and Mustafa Kubamala, either 35, or 54. Akiyama is married to the former Betty Barkenfig and Kubamala is secretly dating the wife of Aberdeen attorney Douglas St. Banjo.

A representative for the Bubby, Bubbly, and Ugly Tour, Malington Kryzpo has stated that all 47 concerts completely sold out within 30 minutes of the tickets being put on sale.

Kryzpo said that the 60,000 tickets for the groups Austin, Texas performance at The Old West Desperadoes of Texas Auditorium were all snapped up within four minutes.

Concert tour writers and aficionados all agree that it's the quickest that anyone's concert has ever sold out including The Rolling Stones, The Eagles, 'NSync, and Paula Abdul.

Brett Tuscany tour organizer has stated that the tour almost did not come off because of the fact that Miley's father Billy Ray Cyrus insistence that his daughter was not to ever be left alone and unattended with Amy Winehouse.

At first Tuscany balked at the idea but he then assured Billy Ray that he would appoint his top security officer to make sure that Amy was kept away from Miley. Mr. Cyrus was assured that the security officer would be armed with a can of pepper spray, a taser gun, and a double-barreled shotgun.

Taylor said that she had no problem because if Winehouse tried any 'bi stuff' with her she would just simply hit her with her infamous Kanye West microphone, scratch her nose, and bite her on her brand new store bought boobs, but not in a gay way of course.

When Winehouse was asked to comment on what she thought about the fact that Miley's dad had insisted that Miley be kept away from her, she merely smiled, pulled on her chewing gum and replied, "Hell if I had a daughter I would want her kept the hell away from me as well."

In other news. The Massachusetts state legislature by a vote of 53 to 47, has voted down a proposal that would have, in the interest of downsizing, dropped the' setts' from the name Massachusetts and changed it to Massachu.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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