Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 4 January 2010

image for X-Factor's Joe McElderry Admits He's Dating Lindsay Lohan
The Gustavia Beach. If you look closely at the top left, you can see Lindsay Lohan grabbing Joe McElderry's crotch.

GUSTAVIA, St. Barts - X-Factor winner Joe McElderry has admitted that the rumors are true. He is in fact dating the infamous LiLo, Lindsay Lohan.

Joe was seen at The Wet Willie Swimsuit Shop in Gustavia walking hand in hand with LiLo as she shopped for a skimpy bathing suit. The couple looked quite happy as Lindsay kept grabbing Joe's crotch every chance she got.

One of the salespersons actually went up to Miss Lohan and asked her if she would like the name of a good motel. She exploded and asked him if he knew who he was talking to.

The salesperson, identified as Corky Corfenberg replied, "Amy Winehouse?" LiLo became even angrier and told him to guess again.

Corfenberg said, "Lady GaGa?" LiLo turned two shades of pink and yelled at the salesperson that she was Lindsay Lohan and that she was very rich and that if she wanted to she could buy the shop and fire his arrogant ass.

The salesperson told her that the shop was not for sale. Joe stepped in and asked to see the manager. When told that the manager was in Washington D.C. visiting the Smithsonian Institute, Lohan shouted out that she didn't care what college he was visiting he wanted the salesclerk to call him up immediately.

The salesperson told Lohan and McElderry that they would have to leave right away or else he was calling his uncle who just happens to be the Gustavia police chief.

The couple instantly left hand in hand. As the two got to the door Joe started singing his hit song "The Climb." Just as he began singing Lohan once again grabbed his crotch and Joe's voice suddenly went up a full two octaves.

In other news. North Korea's leader Kim Jong Il, who has a tremendous crush on Lindsay, has found out about Joe McElderry dating her and he has told the director of his missile program to point the missile that he received from Iran as a Christmas present towards McElderry's home in London.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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