LIVERPOOL, England - Joe McElderry was in Liverpool visiting his maternal grandmother Effie Chipinham when he received a phone call asking him what he thought about Paul McCartney saying that he wanted to record a song with him.
Joe appeared stunned, "What?" he shouted. He hung up the phone and immediately called up Simon Cowell and Cowell verified that it was in fact true.
McElderry got so excited he started jumping up and down and tripped over his grandmother's pet anaconda Sheryl. The snake quickly slithered out into the garden and proceeded to attack her pet dachshund Winky.
Joe quickly ran inside the house and grabbed his grandmother's number 3 golf iron. On his way back outside he accidentally stepped on a banana peel that Chumpy one of his grandmother's pet monkeys had tossed on the floor.
McElderry let out a yell that scarred the heck out of the pet porcupine Sharpie who took off running and crashed into Joe's grandmother.
The poor lady who was in her walker fell hitting her head on her pet Galapagos turtle Mr. Flash.
Joe heard his grandmother screaming her head off and he quickly ran back inside. He picked her up off the floor and immediately called an ambulance.
As she was being loaded into the ambulance she whispered to Joe to be sure and not to forget to feed her pet baby giraffe Shorty and to make sure that the anaconda doesn't get anywhere near her pet Easter bunny.
In other news. The rumor that has been circulating throughout Northern England for the past week that the Manchester United Red Devils were being moved to Ramsgate has been proven to be false.