Written by matwil
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Friday, 1 January 2010

image for Status Quo rockers given Old Boring Entertainers awards (OBE's), for playing the same 3-chord song over and over for 30 years
Status Quo play their 3,000th 3-chord song

Staus Quo guitarists Francis Rossi and Rick Parfitt today received their OBE's from another old rocker, Her Majesty the Queen, and said they were 'bored with the same 3 chords after 30 years of playing them'.

'Same chords, same beat, no wonder bass player Alan Lancaster left', Rossi admitted, 'not exactly Led Zeppelin, is it?' Status Quo had what seemed like 3,000 chart hits, all of them pretty much sounding the same, including 'Three Chords', 'More Of The Same Three Chords', 'Hmm, Let's See, How About Using A Fifth Chord? Only Joking!', and 'A, D, E, A, Ad Nauseum'.

To commiserate with the two for getting the OBE awards, Alan Lancaster penned this song for the two to learn to play in 14 seconds, called 'Come on, Francis Rossi':

If you want to, add a fourth chord
Then people might not be quite so bored
Stick to three ones, to play safe
And make cash

If the chart time, is boring time
And any song of yours became a crime
You can churn out, the same old
Dull trash

'Come on, Francis Rossi
Can't you add just one more key?
Your songs are all the same thing
It's been a little boring
'Come on, Francis Rossi
So take your hand, and play some diff'rent rock'n'roll

When you're playing, we are snoring
And tired of using the word boring
But it sums up, just so well
Your songs

Do you ever, think of writing
A song that might be more exciting
With more chords than, a kid's
Nurs'ry song

'Come on, Francis Rossi
Can't you add just one more key?
Your songs are all the same thing
It's been a little boring
'Come on, Francis Rossi
So take your hand, and play some diff'rent rock'n'roll'

(Brought to you by Status Quo concerts, a part of England that is forever 1973)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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