Sexy teen heart throb High School Musical couple Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron will, we have been informed, be spending the New Year quietly at home.
With about 500 other people.
"They're keepin' it intimate ya know?" our insider, Colin 'The Jerkoff' who works in a comic book store in Van Nuys told us.
"They're okay. I'm sure dey'll be happy. I spect people will have a coupla drinks and bring in da Noo Year wid a toast and a rendition of Auld Lang Syne. So what if they wanna invite 500 people to share their intimacy? If dat's what dey want, den dat's their prerogative."
When we asked Colin 'The Jerkoff' if he actually knew Vanessa and Zac, he said.
"A course I know 'em! Whaddya try'na say here ya joik? Hey, wait a minute... Ain't'choo da guy dat bought an issue of Variety in here yesterday?"
Then he started to shoo us off out the door and into the street.
"Geddoutta here ya joik offs!" he said. "Fucken Limey assholes! Out!"
After being unceremoniously dumped on the street, Colin dropped his trousers and wiggled his bare butt at us, through the store window before opening a bottle of liquor and chugging heavily on it.
So in the finest British tradition, we doused his car in gasoline and torched it.
More when the cops let us out of jail.