Silly rabbit! If you hadn't been in the alley behind the supermarket sneaking a box of Trix (they're for kids!), you might not have been murdered by a cereal killer!
The crime, the third this month, was the first to take place in an open area outside of a private residence. The two previous murder victims (Lucky from Lucky Charms and Captain Crunch) took place in the private residences of these people.
Police have listed the aid of Sam the Toucan, who said "I'll follow my nose to discover the killer. It knows the flavor of fruit, wherever it goes!"
When told that the killer may be straight, and not a fruit, Toucan Sam said that he would still give it a try.
Cereal spokesman are warned to be on the alert and police have offered to post cars outside of the residence of each. Snap, Crackle, and Pop have fled the country and are hiding out in an undisclosed location at 1315 Market Road in Brisbane, Australia.
BooBerry, however, has refused police protection, as have Frankenberry and Count Chocula. "We're already dead," said BooBerry. "What harm can this cereal killer do to us?"
A leading suspect is Barney Rubble, neighbor of Fred Flintstone. Wilma Flintstone said "I can't believe that they would accuse Barney. Sure, Pebbles has two cereals (Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles) and Bamm Bamm doesn't have any, but I don't think that this would make him jealous. He and Betty have been our best friends and neighbors for what seems like a million years."
More news will be released as it becomes available or when reporters can think of a new spin to put on things.