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Wednesday, 30 December 2009

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Let it all hang out in 2010

Nudists colonies and nude beaches across the world are promoting "Naked New Year's" parties and celebrations. "LET IT ALL HANG OUT IN 2010" will be the theme of the events. Smaller nudist clubs in many cities without nudist colonies or resorts have also rented out hotels or party rooms for their own celebrations.

Dick Swinger, President of the Wichita Kansas Chapter of the American Nudist Association (A.N.A.), explained that We all see pictures of the New Year baby wearing nothing but a top hat and a little banner with the number of the year. Why shouldn't we all celebrate like that?"

Swinger invited all party goers everywhere to "take the plunge and take it off." He also said that "people who can't find a party should just streak at their regular parties."

The theme for the parties and celebrations, Let it all hang out in 2010, is a new one. "The puns are intentional of course, though we hope that some of the really old, sagging ladies will find some type of support."

Organized parties will have some games and other activities for participants. "We'll sign up anyone wanting to be a member, plus we'll have all of our standard size and grooming contests. Because so many people protested that a popular Christmas tree shave was not permitted in the triangle beaver shaving category, we've added a new one for novelty shaving pattern for the ladies."

When asked if he had any advice for first time nudists, Swinger said that "they should remember to bathe first (shower or bath). Remember that b.o. is a no-no, and no one wants racing stripes on the furniture if you have to sit down."

He also said that you should go to the bathroom when your body says it's time. "You may get away with gophering with your clothes on, but it's really gross to anyone standing behind you."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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