ROANOKE, VA (ABSNN) -- Monsignor Francois Dubois, S.J. admitted that he was involved in "couple's intervention" with the two Taylors, Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift.
"I am just assisting the youngster in probing the true depths of their budding relationship," said the Monsignor.
The two superstars have been seen arguing in resturants in both New York and Hollywood. It seems that Ms. Swift's mother is the real problem.
"Every time we start to get into some heavy petting...BAM, the door gets busted in and she drags Taylor off leaving me with my dick hanging out..you know; it's all dressed up with nowhere to go," he complained to the priest.
Ms. Swift was not available to comment of the premarital counselling sessions. Through an unknown spokesperson Ms. Swift expressed regrets that she is "still a virgin, at least technically," and plans to give Mr. Lautner what he wants, "as soon as she can distract her mother long enough."
Meanwhile, Mr. Lautner's recent Rolling Stone wet tee shirt cover has faggots everywhere a-titter.
Perhaps if Ms. Swift had a titter-two, she'd no longer be a virgin.