Written by Bureau
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

image for Susan Boyle In Japan Sumo Wrestler Incident
"Sumo Wrestlers Better Lay Off Our Susan!"

Singer Susan Boyle's trip to Tokyo, Japan got off to a rocky start yesterday when the Scottish Songbird had to be rushed to a hospital from lack of oxygen.

Susan, who hates elevators, had no choice when her room was on the 14th floor of the Tokyo Hilton.

"She actually walked up 13 flights of stairs that first day here", stated a roadie or 'extra' for the group. "She was very upset and red in the face because she was supposed to have a room on the third floor."

So Tuesday she decided to go ahead and use the elevator although people on with her said that she sung a quivering little Scottish tune all the way up.

But then came the ride back down for a dress rehearsal.

"I saw her get on and begin singing", stated the general all-around flunky. "Then I saw it stop at the tenth floor for a long time and then it completely stopped around the 8th floor."

Apparently it was at the 10th floor that five Sumo Wrestlers got on with her and mashed her to the back in mid-song.

After receiving oxygen for two hours at the hospital later, Susan told an aide there who recognized her that she could hardly breathe once the five got on and then the stupid elevator got stuck for an hour & 45 minutes.

"Those big idiots!" Susan told the aide breathlessly. "The got bored and started a farting contest! I may never sing again!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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