MANCHESTER - Amy Winehouse was due to perform a concert in Manchester's Magnificent Manc Stadium on New Year's Eve, but she has had to cancel due to an overabundance of milk in her brand new DD store bought mammaries.
The much tattooed, pierced, and poked Winehouse said that ever since she had her second breast augmentation done, she has suddenly found that she has started to lactate profusely, which is strange because she is not even pregnant.
The somewhat naive Winehouse reportedly asked her bass player if a girl could get pregnant from merely sucking a bloke's (blank). The bass player replied that she couldn't just as long as she spit at the proper moment.
Winehouse has just gotten engaged to her ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil. When asked if she plans to be faithful this time around she grins and asks that it all depends on what one's definition of faithful is.
Amy Winehouse's manager suggested that she be a little British trooper and go on with her concert as scheduled. Winehouse looked at him and said, "Hey birdbrain, I've got me two blimey, bloomin', brimmin', behemothic boobs filled with about 24 ounces of Borden's milk in each effen one, are you fookin' kiddin' me or what?"
In a related story. Amy Winehouse has pointed out that the rumors about her having a tattoo of Windsor Castle on her G-Spot are totally false. She said she is positive because she looked this morning.