Tough tackling Irish midfielder and Manchester United legend, Roy Keane has announced that as of Monday he will be the man at the helm of satirical website The Spoof.com
In a shock announcement, the current Editorial team announced that they'd had enough of domestic spats on the site's forums, and of suspected points cheats, so they'd sold up, lock stock and barrel to Keano.
"I won't take carp, or any other freshwater fish from any of these nutters," Keano promised. "If anybody presents on my newly acquired site looking for carp, or cod, or any type of tropical fish, including guppies, they'll feel the sharp end of my tongue. And that's for sure."
Former team mate, Eric "Mon Dieu Qui Qui" Cantona told us:
"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because sardines are being thrown into the sea. Probably off the coast of Sardinia. But what do I know? Mon dieu qui qui!"
Keane's former Captain at Old Trafford, Steve Bruce, told us:
"He wivvent stand nae carp, or any other kinda fish for that matta. He's a reet tough nut is wor Roy."
A Spoof contributor known only as JaggedOne was reportedly keeping an eye on the situation from underneath a bridge in Old Amsterdam.
Whilst nautical legend, Captain Morse of the Buggerall, struggled to pry a fellow Spoofer's head out of the bog.
In related news, Spoof writer Abel Rodriguez revealed that he was considering submitting a sub 5 star story, and Monkey Woods announced that he was considering a comeback. Spoof legend Bargis Tryhol was unavailable for comment as he was busy polishing his trumpet.
More as we get it.