Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 24 December 2009

image for The Bonkettes Spring Christmas Surprise For British And US Troops In Afghanistan.
BJ Spit And BJ Swalloow Strolling In Kabul On Christmas Morning - Yeah, Right...

The Bonkettes even outdid their MEN gig this Christmas morn as they turned out for the troops in Camp Bastion.

In a total surprise, the Bonkettes took the stage alongside Ronnie Wood, Stewart Copeland, Alice Cooper, Bob Geldof, Midge Ure, Eric Clapton, Jim Davidson, Diana Ross and Bruce Springsteen and the 'E' Street band, featuring Clarence Clemons on sax.

As they were showered with soiled underwear, tossed by our brave lads out there on the front line, BJ Spit and BJ Swallow launched into a haunting rendition of the late and much lamented Marvin Gaye classic - 'Let's Get It Done.'

Clarence Clemons then went mental on sax as the girls performed Gerry Rafferty's 'Baker Street'

It was a mental all round Christmas morning, with the American contingent particularly going wild over Brucie and the Bonkettes singing "Born In The State Of NJ"

Geldof and Ure conducted a mass singalong with "Feed The Scousers - Let Them Know It's Christmas Time'

Then Alice Cooper and Diana Ross rounded the morning off for our brave lads by duetting on the greatest Christmas song ever penned - Fairy Tale Of New York.

Sipping a pint of opium juice through a straw in her Kabul hotel room, lead singer BJ Swallow told us:

"I think that's the best gig we ever played. Better even than the MEN Arena. And we feel, as a band, it's important that our guys know we're 100% behind them. But not in a gay way."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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