Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
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Topics: Cheryl Cole, Poo

Thursday, 24 December 2009

image for Cheryl Cole Squirts Some Bum-Juice In A Taxi

It seems that over the recent weeks, Cheryl Cole's reputation has moved from being the 'Perfect Pop Princess' to the 'Pitiful Poo-Problemed Pikie'. Indeed, week after week, she has been involved in some kind of 'dung debacle' or another.

This week's 'excrement event' occured in the early hours of Thursday morning on her way to a photo shoot for specialist glamour magazine 'Fist Of Fury'.

"She'd only just got in the cab when she satrted complaining about her stomach hurting - said she'd had a lamb vindaloo the previous might which she said was a bit 'shite-tasting'", explained London black cab driver Ron Von Jonski.

"I kept looking at her in the mirror to check she was OK, plus she's a bit of a sort, so I fancied adjustiung the mirror to look up her skirt. Next thing I know, I here here wince in pain, let one rip and as I was wartching her, I saw a load of shite ooze down her leg. It smelled like fucking sulphuric acid mixed with cabbage", he added.

Cole was rushed to hospital with suspected 'Delhi Belly', yet test results have not come back to confirm this.

The cab clean up job cost Von Jonski more than he thought - the seats needed to be replaced due to the acidic erosion of the leather, and the fumigation process was long, and cost him in lost business.

"But at least I can say that I had a fit pop chick shit in my cab - not many could", he told us, looking proud...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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