Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 21 December 2009

image for Brittany Murphy Pulls Out Of Panto Due To Death
Another Ex-Princess, Pictured Before She Croaked.

Brittany Murphy, star of the movie 'Clueless' and sexy vamp in 'Sin City' has pulled out of a contractual obligation to act in the pantomime 'Cinderella' at Burnley Mechanics because she dropped dead yesterday.

(OH NO SHE DIDN'T! - OH YES SHE DID!)

Disappointed theatre manager Brian Twatt told us:

"Aye. It seems it right like. From what I heard she dropped dead in toilet. Heart attack I heard. It's a bloody tragedy really, we're going to have to give refunds on all 't' tickets we flogged, unless we can get another Cinders in. Shame really. She were only 32 - that's no age is it?"

Brittany Murphy was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Hospital in LA but was said to be DOA. She was married to Brit Simon Monjack. The world mourns her passing.

Journalist Eddie Mugwump-Dingle, also, coincidentally from Burnley, told us:

"It were a reet surprise that. Seems she had a coronation in 't' bog and couldn't be rejuvenated. Me sympathies go out to me old mate, Brian Twatt, whose panto plans have now gone right down the shitter due to this unexpected turn of events."

Brittany Murphy denied being a cocaine abuser when she was alive, stating categorically that strong coffee was her only vice.

So there you have it.

It was probably coffee that killed Cinderella.

The ugly sisters denied any involvement or wrongdoing.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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