Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 21 December 2009

image for Rob Pattinson Nude Poolside Photos "Genuine"

A set of nude photographs featuring Twilight teen idol Rob Pattinson have had their authenticity confirmed by the heart throb's one time neighbour, Steven Toolbox.

"It's the real deal," Toolbox told us. "It was an uncharacteristically warm day here in bonnie Scotland, and Rob and some other guys took their kit off and went skinny paddling in a small inflatable paddling pool out the back garden. It wasn't long before the girls stripped off too and joined him."

As ever, searching for salaciousness, we contacted a neighbour who allegedly kept a photographic record of the event.

Stanley Socketsett, the neighbour, offered to sell the photos to us for half a million dollars.

"Rob Pattinson? Naked in a garden orgy. In summer. Give me the money honey!"

This whole storyline is, as usual, totally misleading. The participants were kids at the time, Rob being ever loyal, could not countenance the pictures being brokered for personal gain, in any way shape or form.

Point being journalistic integrity.

So Rob Pattinson was only 18 months old at the time of the nude poolside photograph incident.

So what?

So there was nothing to see.

Literally.

More teen idol twattery as we make it up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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