Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Amy Winehouse

Sunday, 20 December 2009

image for Amy Winehouse and Her Ex-Husband Blake Fielder Civil Announce They're Getting Married (Again)
Amy Winehouse getting one of her 49 cavities worked on. (Photo courtesy of Prince William).

LONDON - Amy Winehouse, the soul, jazz, doo-wop singer has just informed the British press that her and ex-hubby Blake Fielder Civil have just become engaged.

Winehouse said that Blake accompanied her to The Tattle Tail Tattoo Parlor in West Wickham so she could get her 19th tattoo. Blake went over to the table where Amy was lying face down totally naked except for a bright red Manchester United cap.

He just stood there for a few minutes and then basically started salivating while the tattooist was tattooing the words 'Wine is Fine' on his ex-wife's left buttock.

Blake bent down and whispered that looking at her bon bon (ass) he sees that he has really missed putting it to her in the way that he used to do when both were occasionally sober at the same time.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Blake and Amy divorced four months ago on the grounds that she committed adultery with Scottish singer Grady O'Sedric, and Irish actor Finnegan McMolly, and Welsh harmonica player Gwendower Rhiannon, and Icelandic icicle artist Lars Larsfushay.]

Amy has repeatedly said that she does not remember ever being with anyone of those blokes (her word). A private investigator that Blake hired showed Winehouse 263 photos of her and each of the four named adulterers.

When Winehouse saw them she remarked that they had been photoshopped because her teeth are not as good looking as the teeth of the girl in all 263 photos.

Blake told Amy that he does not care if she has had affairs with 100 different men in 43 different countries including Mongolia, Botswana, and France.

He assured her that he misses her, and he wants her to be his husband and he wants to be her wife. Blake caught himself and made the necessary corrections. He proposed to her and she replied, "Spiffy," which is a British euphemism for yes.

In other news. Former boxing champ Mike Tyson is reportedly furious with a report that appeared in 'Square Circle Weekly' magazine which states that Tyson's IQ is 28. Tyson supposedly called up the magazine's editor and said that his IQ is 32 or maybe even 23, but not 28.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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