ORLANDO - The maid who has worked for Mr. and Mrs. Tiger Woods for four years, Paprika LaTibia Madison has said that late Thanksgiving Day she heard a loud commotion in the Woods master bedroom.
As she was standing by the door, it suddenly flew open and Elin stormed out of the room wearing only a bra and panties. Elin went down the hall and into Tiger's Trophy Room, where he keeps his trophies, plaques, and all kinds of awards that he has received throughout the years.
Mrs. Madison said that she could hear something breaking inside. She peaked in and she saw that Mrs. Woods was holding one of Tiger's #3 drivers and she was swinging it and breaking everyone of Tiger's bobblehead dolls.
Paprika said that Mr. Woods cherished that collection of bobblehead dolls which he had bought on his trips around the world. She said that some had been given to him by friends.
His most prized bobblehead doll was one of Colombian singer and belly dancer Shakira. The South American shaker had given the doll to Tiger as a Christmas present last year. Mrs. Woods quickly sent that one flying against the tournament photos wall.
Pap, as Elin calls her, saw Mrs. Woods hit Tiger's Condoleezza Rice bobblehead doll which Condi had personally autographed, 'To Tiggy Poo from the Rice Krispie.'
Ms. Madison said that the bobbleheads that she saw get sent to that great big bobblehead doll house in the sky next were Rev. Al Sharpton, Jay Leno (with the cute triple chin), Barry Bonds (minus the steroids look), Dolly Parton (which was anatomically correct), and Kirstie Alley (which was twice as big as the other bobblehead dolls).
Paprika said that she asked Mr. Woods if his bobblehead doll collection was insured. He replied, "Are you kidding me Paps, who the heck insures a bobblehead doll collection dammit?"
In other news. Reports coming out of Tinseltown are stating that Paris Hilton told her hair stylist, Mr. Lispy of Long Beach, that she thinks that she might be one of Tiger's "Golf Girls" but she isn't sure. Hilton, aka "The Blonde Airhead" says that he does look familiar but she would actually have to see his 'putter' in order to be completely sure.