LONDON - In the surprise wedding event of the year actor-comedian Russell Brand has married his girlfriend singer Katy Perry on the beautiful Mediterranean Isle of Majorca.
The two had been dating for sometime and Russell has apparently been wanting for Katy to do certain intimate acts like giving him a (blank) job and other very erotic and personal things in the privacy of their bedroom.
Katy has told Russell that there are some things that she just will not do until he grows some and puts a ring on her finger.
The 34-year-old Brand who has been with quite a lot of women said that he did not want to pressure her or anything, but if she did not give in to his demands then he was just going to have to break up with her and find him some other bird who will provide him with whatever kinky demands he makes.
Perry who is 29, realized that Brand was serious and so she decided to give in. But she did so with some guidelines and demands of her own. She said that it will only be her and him in their bed and none of this so called meringue-a-lamode.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm 99 percent sure that Katy meant to say menage-a-trois.]
Katy also stipulated that he is not to expect her to be getting any tattoos no matter how pretty he thinks they would look on her buttocks, her boobs, or her bikini burger.
Perry added that should she ever find out that he has cheated on her with another woman, a man, or some kind of exotic varmint, she will have the right to cut off his (blank) and file for divorce immediately.
Reports are that Russell thought about it for a couple of hours and he decided to agree to all of Katy's demands.
SIDENOTE: The couple was married on the beautiful Mediterranean Island of Majorca. After a five day honeymoon the newlyweds will return to London where they will make their home at 1719 Eleanor Rigby Road in St. John's Wood.