Written by Bureau

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Wednesday, 16 December 2009

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In the book, the story opens with the revelation that Seattle, Washington is being plagued by a string of unsolved murders, which Edward suspects is caused by a new vampire that is unable to control its thirst for human blood. As Edward and Bella apply to colleges, Bella explains to Edward her desire to see her friend, Jacob Black, a werewolf.

Although Edward fears for her safety, Bella insists that neither Jacob nor his wolf pack would ever harm her, and she begins visiting him occasionally.

However, after she leaves the vampire Cullen family, the whole family come down with the West Nile Virus! That means that anyone bit by one of the family will also get the sometimes deadly disease.

The disease wrecks havoc.

Havoc Cullen, a 500-year-old from way back in the past, shows up just in time to catch the virus and while he's out sucking, the mosquito bite causes his brain to swell until his head explodes.

With no head, he gets lost, not being able to see, and staggers around the dock where he winds up on a ship headed for Egypt. There he falls in the West Nile River and gets stuck on the bottom permanently.

Other than Bella coming up with a cure for the other Cullen brood, the rest of the book/movie is the same.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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