Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
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Topics: George Michael

Monday, 14 December 2009

image for George Michael in XXX-Factor Shocker!
Fancy a brew? No fucking chance, mate!

(Defecated News) Pop's 'Poofy Princess From Paphos', George Michael caused a huge shock behind the scenes of last weekend's X-Factor Final.

Not only did he sport a fucking shitty display of facial hair, but to everyone's disgust, Mr Michael was spotted in the canteen backstage shitting in the kettle and spitting phlegm into the sugar bowl.

"I have no idea why he was doing it, but I did see him doing those terrible things, and then bouncing off as if he was trying to act like a gorilla", explained Harpreet Singh, head of security at Bunion Studios in Wembley.

Police have been called in to investigate the allegations, and CCTV footage has been seized.

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