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Monday, 14 December 2009

image for Robert Pattinson Arrested In New York As Kristen Rushes To Help!

It has been confirmed that Robert Pattinson, yes THE Robert Pattinson has been arrested in New York City overnight because of identity theft.

"Of all things", Pattinson told reporters early today, myself among them, "I get arrested for attempting to be myself! This would be funny if I hadn't been handcuffed and brought in here."

Apparently this was one time that Pattinson WANTED the press to hear what happened before all the rumors shit the fan.

"I can just see this in the newspapers today: 'Pattinson Taken In To Help Police With Their Inquiries!'. I reported that I had lost my billfold yesterday and now someone has used my credit cards or something. I get this call to come down to a small food mart by police and I had just got out of the shower and, since I didn't have my usual look, they arrest ME for trying to impersonate myself with some purchases here."

"Naturally I couldn't identify myself because my stupid billfold was gone and this idiot policeman..oh well..it's his job. But I'M Robert Pattinson!"

"It's a strange feeling to know that you're only known by your hair style."

About a dozen reporters including this one, identified Pattinson and were just about to leave when Kristen Stewart came in the door and stopped in front of some officers.

"I felt like I was trapped in one of those terrifying nightmares, the one where you have to run, run till your lungs burst, but you can't make your body move fast enough."

"OK OK. We know you. We'll try to locate that billfold, Mr. Pattinson."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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