It should come as no surprise to regular readers that cheeky Geordie chappie Joe McElderry won the X-Factor final here Sunday evening. We told you this would happen weeks ago.
We have the best insiders in showbiz affairs on the planet, sometimes bringing the lowdown on the stars before the stars themselves are aware of it.
We weren't even surprised that Cheryl Cole burst into tears as Joe performed - we've always been aware that she's a passionate young lady - but we were a little shocked at the extent of the tears.
She cried her a river.
Some cynics accused the lovely Cheryl of hamming it up for the cameras, but theSpoof.com can reveal the truth behind those tears.
They were tears of joy, and tears of pain, tears of sunshine tinged with rain, because Cheryl realised that, although he'd always remain a friend, Joe McElderry was about to sign up with Simon Cowell.
Who will take a substantial cut of young Joe's earnings by acting as his manager/producer.
As Cheryl goes home to Ashley.
We'll keep you posted regarding what Joe McElderry gets up to.
More as we get it.