FARGO, North Dakota - Miley Cyrus was in town as the honored guest of The North Dakota Coalition of Young Teens.
Cyrus was presented with that organization's coveted Golden iPod Trophy, which is made from the chippings of Mount Rushmore.
The award is presented annually to the teen celebrity who best exemplifies what a young American teen should be and that includes polite, truthful, courteous, and celibate.
Miley was sitting on the stage and she got up to receive her award. She told everyone that she wanted to clear up a rumor going around the Internet that she lip syncs some of her songs.
She said that she knows that some singers such as Britney Spears, Ashlee Simpson, and even Jennifer Lopez almost always lip sync during their concert performances.
Miley told the audience that they can all rest assured that pretty little Miley Cyrus will never lip sync like Britney Spears does. The crowd rose up in unison and gave her a thunderous ovation.
Cyrus thanked the members of the NDC of YT for this fabulous award and told them that she always strives to be polite.
She added that she always tells the truth even if she knows that she can get away with all kinds of lies.
Miley then smiled and said that ever since she was two-years-old she has always been courteous to everyone, even people like Ann Coulter, Andy Dick, and Madonna.
Miley was asked to sing a song, but she replied that she had left her guitar back at the hotel. Someone from the back asked her about number four. She blushed, and then replied that she had left her guitar back at the hotel.
This year, Miley barely beat out Selena Gomez. Ashton Pigeonsound director of the NDC of YT stated that the balloting was extremely close with Miley receiving 187 votes and Selena receiving 186 votes.
When Selena was informed of the vote tally she immediately asked for a recount. She was told that the vote count was correct. Selena angrily hung up the phone.
It wasn't five minutes later that Mr. Pigeonsound received a phone call. It was from Selena's attorney Gisele Zimmertuck of the Minneapolis law firm of Zimmertuck & Piscapunki.
Mrs. Zimmertuck informed Mr. Pigeonsound that if he refused to conduct a recount she would have no recourse but to file an injunction, which would lead to an investigation, which would then become fodder for Fox News, CNN, and the three major networks.
Mr. Pigeonsound immediately told Mrs. Zimmertuck that he had to get off the phone immediately because he needed to get busy and supervise the recounting of all of the votes.
Mrs. Zimmertuck told him that he was a wise man, not like the three Christmas wise men, but like the wise man who knows how to CYA
[EDITOR'S NOTE: CYA is journalistic parlance for Cover Your Ass.]
In military news. The BBC is reporting that Belgium has just developed a missile that is capable of hitting China. They quickly stated not that Belgium is thinking about firing a missile at China or anything, but they said that it was just put out as an interesting piece of information.