Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
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Wednesday, 9 December 2009

image for George Michael 'Snorts Breadcrumbs'
'Fucking Amazing Buzz'

(Defecated News) Troubled star George Michael has had to deal with many addictions over his lifetime.

These include addiction to:

> Lying about his gayness
> Only having one dance move
> Being a Serial Fudge-Packer
> Being shit
> Drugs

But now, it would appear, George has become addicted to the latest Hollywood 'drug' - breadcrumbs. Stars have been reported on an umber of occasions in the last year to be seen in high society gatherings snorting Hovis. Dr Stapholococcus Felletio - pharmacologist and George's fellow 'turd burglar' explains,

"Yeast packs a fucking buzz man. Oxidation of yeast through snorting mimics the fermentation process thereby making people feel high or drunk. It's cheap and fucking good shit."

David Furnace and John Elton, both close friends of George, as well as being fellow 'shit stabbers' have been seen entering the star's mansion holding butt plugs. They left hours later with what appeared to be 'chocolate' around their mouths and breadcrumbs coming out of their noses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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