Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 8 December 2009

image for Tomato Tosser Barely Misses Sarah Palin
Four tomatoes that were confiscated from the mall "Tomato Tosser."

MINNEAPOLIS - Sarah Palin in town on her book signing tour came real close to getting hit by two thrown tomatoes.

Palin has just signed a book with the inscription, Dear Fawn Chickasaw, Always dot your i's and cross your t's, when all of a sudden someone up on on the second floor balcony tossed two tomatoes towards her.

Luckily for Palin she used her big game hunting skills to duck. A police officer was not so lucky. Officer Leif Chamberfield was hit in the face by the first tomato.

Officer Chamberfield did not have a chance to draw his gun before getting hit with the second tomato as well. A mall security guard was able to tackle the shooter before he fired off an more tomatoes.

Palin later told the mall director that if he had had her telescopic hunting rifle with her she could have easily picked off the sniper.

The shooter identified himself as a 33-year-old unemployed redneck sky writer Percival Porterfield of St. Paul.

When asked why he threw the two tomatoes Porterfield replied, "I throws da two tamaters cause watermelons be's too damn heavy."

Palin was later asked what husband Todd was up to. She grinned and replied, "Oh Toddy is Toddy. He's probably out racing his snowmobile I'm sure.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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