Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 8 December 2009

image for Jamie Jungers To Run For Mayor Of Los Angeles
The fighter jet that Tiger Woods leased in order to fly Jamie Jungers to the various golf tournaments.

LOS ANGELES - Jamie Jungers who is one of the members of Tiger Woods highly exclusive "Golf Gal Pal Club" has just announced that she has decided to run for mayor of Los Angeles.

Jungers who is a stunningly attractive blonde was asked why she feels that she is qualified to run the nation's third largest city.

She smiled that seductively sensuous smile and replied because she genuinely cares about things that are important to every man, woman, and child living in Los Angeles whether they are straight, gay, or somewhere in between.

Jungers said that since she has become one of the most recognizable individuals in America, Canada, and even Alaska she has received millions of text messages, emails, phone calls, and letters asking her to please run for mayor of Los Angeles.

When the ravishingly gorgeous blonde was asked what her short term and long term goals for Los Angeles would be she flashes a Colgate smile and says that her short term goal is to get elected.

She then adds "My long term goal for L.A. is to once and for all rid the city of that awful, ugly, yucky smog. I also want to do something about all of these stupid forest fires that we always seem to have when it's hot and windy like in the summertime when the living is easy."

Jungers was asked what her bra size is. She rolls her eyes and says 36-D. She then says that she was not quite through revealing her long term goals.

She says that she also wants to do something about all of these dumb stupid mudslides. She pauses and says that the key to eliminating mudslides is simply to get rid of the mud and that is exactly what he will be focusing on doing.

She pointed out that there is a lot of wasted space out in the California deserts and she would have the mud loaded onto dump trucks and hauled out to the desert.

Jungy Jugs, as most of her boyfriends call her, remarked that another goal will be to put an end to all of these bothersome, scary, and stupid earthquakes.

She says that she will hire an earthquake expert to figure out exactly what we have to do in order to eliminate those really useless things.

Jungers was asked if she doesn't feel that her illicit relationship with Tiger Woods will hurt her mayoral campaign. Jamie shakes her head and says "No, because I was the one that was molested, duh."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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