The Royal Variety Performance in Blackpool hosted a galaxy of stars from Michael Bubble to Michael Macintyre, but there were more than just people called Michael there.
The big attraction of the show was Lady Gaga, the is she isn't he current pop mega-sensation, with at least two hits and a raunchy live show. Initially the shows producers were worried that the Gaga would be too lewd for the Queen, but the Queen was said to have enjoyed LG's set, so much so that she insisted on meeting the singer afterwards, despite worried looks from the Queen's entourage.
Dressed in a red, white and blue leather bikini top and a lurid pink mini-skirt, the Queen met the rather more decorously dressed Lady Gaga at the after show party. Given strict instructions to call her Ma'am, speak only when spoken too and to courtesy upon meeting her, the Queen did all she was asked.
"It was an honour and a privilege," said the Queen afterwards. "She's signed one's bottom!"
Prince Phillip was his usual self: "She looks like a man, in my day men looked like men, women looked like tarts and lady-boys looked disturbing!" said the old Greek racist.
Lady Gaga was unavailable for comment, which is probably a good thing, as she was having a bath in half a tonne of bat ears.