Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 7 December 2009

image for The Black Eyed Peas Say Robert Pattinson's Black Eye Is Nothing To Do With Them
Some Peas - But Not The Black Eyed Peas - Pictured Earlier. With Fish And Chips.

A spokesman for The Black Eyed Peas tonight denied that the band had anything to do with Twilight star Robert Pattinson's 'alleged' black eye.

"If he's got a black eye, it was nothing to do with the band," the spokesman told us. "Just because they're called The Black Eyed Peas doesn't mean that they go around punching people in the face to give them black eyes just for the hell of it. They wouldn't do such a thing. These claims get more ridiculous by the second."

We're really struggling to find out who - if anybody - is responsible for Robert Pattinson's alleged black eye. It really is a mystery.

Hollywood hair stylist Justin Whoopsy, told us:

"I'm not too sure about the black eye, or the allegations surrounding it. But he really should lose the beard. That's just embarrassing."

Several potential suspects have been interviewed by the LAPD but so far they've all come up clean.

Pattinson himself was unavailable for comment as he was in the men's room of his Hollywood mansion taking a dump and reading the latest edition of 'Variety'

More on 'Eyegate' as we make it up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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