Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 7 December 2009

image for Tiger Considers Full Tearful Confession On Oprah
Fore! - Sorry...Nine! - And Counting....

In order to reclaim his squeaky clean image, and preserve his considerable fortune, advisors have told Tiger Woods to go on the Oprah show, with wife Elin, and make a full confession, with real tears, and profuse apologies.

It's a risky strategy, especially if Elin and Oprah happen to be holding golf clubs, but Woods' people claim that confession is good for the soul - Catholics do it all the time.

Tiger is expected to break down, with heaving shoulders and tear-streaked eyes as he confesses to wife, Elin Nordegren, that yes, he did have flings with Rachel Uchitel, 34, Jaimee Grubbs, 24, Kalika Moquin, 27, Mindy Lawton, 34, Cori Rist, 31, Jamie Jungers, 26, and occasionally Elin Nordegren.

Plus a British TV presenter, who is not thought to be Eamonn Holmes, and an unnamed woman in her 40's.

Tiger is expected to go down on one knee in supplication and tell Elin that it was just a one-off and that it didn't really mean anything.

Then he's expected to duck real quick as the golf clubs swing.

More as we make it up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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