Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
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Sunday, 6 December 2009

image for Victoria Beckham Fails ... Again!
Gutted? - Nevermind...treat yourself to another stick of celery

(Defecated News) In what can only be described as another link in a chain of unfortunate events, Posh Spice AKA Victoria Beckham has failed to hit the big time.

First she was sidelined for any lead vocals with The Spice Girls when the worlds realised that she was only famous for 'having an inviting fanny'. Next she launched her solo 'career' which sold enough records to by her a bag of onions and batteries for her heated butt-plug. Even recently she was trailled as Paula Abdul's replacement on American Idol, only to be told to 'fuck off you talentless cow' and be replaced by someone who doesn't even have a pop history.

But last week, insulted was added to injury (or should it be 'huge fucking gaping infected wound with maggots living inside?)

At a holiday camp in Bognor Regis (UK), Mrs Beckham, wife of superstar David Beckham entered herself into the National Posh Spice Lookalike Competition 2009 where she was placed in 12th position out of 32.

"We didn't know it was her, but we simply judged the evening on who had more meat on their body, more class, and well...more chance of being a successful pop star", explained Eddie Izzard - top judge.

Those who placed above her in the competition included a 72 year old retired incontinence nurse specialist, a 45 year old bricklayer, and Debbie Magee, wife of bald magician Paul Daniels.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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