Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
Print this
Topics: Simon Cowell

Sunday, 6 December 2009

image for Simon Cowell Has Elective Double Mastectomy AND MORE
"Bye, Bye, Boobie, Boobie, Bye, Bye" - as the song kinda says

(Defecated News) Weeks of tabloid headlines have speculated as to whether Simon Cowell had waxed his chest, or perhaps shaved his knuckles, and even suggestions that he had bleached his shithole. All were shown to be true. But as a total surprise, Popmaster Flash himself Simon Cowell has admitted to having the fat sucked out of his wobbly knockers, and chunks of boobie tissue removed by surgery.

Further more, Cowell had also undergone nipple enlargement, testicular reshaping and had his cheesy helmet 'botoxed'.

It would appear that since becoming single last year, and turning fifty this year, Mr Cowell has entered a form of late midlife crisis.

Recent footage on The X Factor showed Cowell wearing fluffy jumpers and doing his hair like an old man.

In a more positive turn of events, he has secured lucrative deals for product endorsement for products such as Stannah Stairlifts, Zimmer Frames, and Viagra.

Make Aisubeki Akiudo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 3?

1 14 3 20
46 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more