Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
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Topics: Cheryl Cole

Sunday, 6 December 2009

image for Cheryl Cole Fingers Danii Minogue In The Back-Passage
A Finger Of Fudge Is Just Enough, Apparently

(Defecated News) Hit TV talent show 'The X-Factor' has given us the image that the judges are respectful of each other beyond all the petty bickering over who's act is shitter than the other's, or whether it's OK to say that one of Simon's acts like to eat cock and pussy, albeit at different times.

But backstage, beyond the cameras and the view of the public, filthy behaviour has been caught on camera.

"Straight after tonight show", explained an anonymous stage-hand "I saw Cheryl Cole go up to Danii and tell her to 'fuck off and stop being such a cunt'. She appeared to be talking about Danni's comments during a break when she said that, 'Joe was shit, and he talks like a fucking mincer"

The X-Factor employee then described how Cheryl waved and angry pointed finger in front of Danii's face in the small section behind the stage leading up to the changing rooms.

In an attempt to diffuse the scene, Simon Cowell was seen running over to the ladies topless with his man-breasts swinging rhythmically. Apparenty his nipples were pierced with 12mm bullets, and he had a tattoo on his back which read 'Fuck me, I'm loaded'

Louis Walsh had been spotted at this time in the toilets, 'knocking one out to the music of Westlife'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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