Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Tiger Woods

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

image for "Don't You Want Me Baby?" Cocktail Waitress Asks Tiger
She Was Working As A Waitress In A Cocktail Bar - Then All Hell Broke loose!

She was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when a famous man named Tiger found her.

So claims cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs, 24, a young lady who popped out of the woodwork faster than shit flies off a swung stick.

The young lady claims to have experienced numerous encounters of an intimate nature with the star golfer following an initial encounter in a cocktail bar where she worked as a waitress, like in that old song by The Human League, which really irritated a great number of people.

One observer confided in us that Jaimee Grubbs, whose name bears certain similarities with Jaime Gumb, the serial killer 'Buffalo Bill' in the Thomas Harris novel 'Silence Of The Lambs' has no connection whatsoever with the fictional character.

Who was a right weirdo. Who Jodie Foster shot.

Jodie Foster today announced that she had no intention of going out and brutally gunning down Jaimee Grubbs. She told us:

"I don't intend to shoot Jaimee Grubbs. I didn't even shoot Jaime Gumb in 'Silence Of The Lambs' - it was just a movie. All a big fiction. Mind you, it did bag me an oscar."

Phil Oakey, out of The Human League, told us:

"This is the power of music. We sang about meeting somebody who was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when stone the crows, it actually happens to Tiger Woods. Even if it is years later."

Tiger Woods sort of admitted that he'd been a bit "naughty" and let his family down.

He told his cousin, legendary Spoof writer Monkey Woods:

"I'm sorry Monkey, but I've been a bit 'naughty' and let the family down."

Jaimee Grubbs looks a bit short up top in both departments, if the pictures in the British tabloids are really her.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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