BALTIMORE - Michaele Salahi, alias one/half of the White House Party Crashers team says that she hates being in prison.
The statuesque bleached blonde says that prison stinks. She said that it smells like dirty pantyhose, sweaty bras, soiled underwear, grimy girdles, and smelly feet. Michaele then added, "And that's just the damn friggin guards for goodness sakes."
Salahi is currently incarcerated in The Lord Baltimore Prison For Bitches.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: That is the actual name of the prison. At first, I myself thought that it was just something that Abel had made up, but I looked it up and it is the actual name. Noted Maryland historian Cashley Finnfeister stated that it was named by Governor Brennan P. Bathcandle back in 1893. Governor Bathcandle did not beat around the bush. The man called a spade a spade, which of course pissed them off, but that's another story.]
Mrs. Salahi, quickly showed that she certainly falls in the 'dumb blonde category' when she said that on a scale of 1 to 10 the White House smells 1,000 times better than this stinking hell hole.
Her lawyer, Cannon Lazerwitz has assured her that she will get out on bail just as soon as they find out what the bail is.
An unnamed source, who did not want his name revealed. said that he heard it from a good reliable unnamed source that President Obama has instructed the Maryland judge handling the case that he wants bail set at $10 million.
President Obama's exact words were, "Put a $10 million bond on the redneck bitch, seein' as how she thinks it's so funny and all."
One of the guards stated that Michaele told him when he assigned her, her prison standard orange jumpsuit that she preferred one in red, since she looks like a million dollars in red.
He reportedly told her to put on the orange one and settle for looking like a three dollar dishwater blonde in a faded orange jumpsuit before he loses his temper and takes a billy club to her arrogant 45 cent redneck ass.
I will be passing on more prison info as I make it up.
In a related story. Joe Biden confided to Larry King that when he had his picture taken with Michaele that you couldn't see it but she had her right hand on his you-know-what.