Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
Print this
Topics: Cheryl Cole

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

image for Cheryl Cole - Arrested for 'Lewd Behaviour'
Fanny Food

(Defecated News) Troubled pop queen Cheryl Cole was arrested last week outside South Shields' Lidl Supermarket.

The pint-sized diva, known for her pert nipples and inability to sing live had been reported to police by the store. Head of Lidl security, George Agdgdgwengo told us,

"Eet was kwaat a saat, I tell you. Mah colleague, found haah, in the fresh vegetable sekshee-on, insaating a cucumber into her flanjita"

CCTV has confirmed Mr Agdgdgwengo's statement, and Ms Cole was taken away on an unmarked car to South Shields Police Station. Arresting officer, Sgt Peppa told us today. "We have in custody a female in her twenties who was arrested for lewd behaviour. We cannot disclose her identity for legal reasons, but she can't sing, and is partial to punching black women in nightclubs"

Cole was later charged with lewd behaviour and refusing arrest. The vegetable in question has not been found, although Mr Agdgdgwengo has admitted to eating cucumber sandwiches daily since the event.

She is due to stand trial next week.

Make Aisubeki Akiudo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 3?

4 22 9 11
91 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more