Spoof writer Skoob1999 received word that his first prostate exam will take place on December 10th. Unlike the reactions given by normal men, however, Skoob1999 is excited by thoughts of the procedure. To make matters even better, the event is scheduled to occur on his 52nd birthday.
"Ever since I've been married to Mrs. Skoob, I've felt that there's something missing. She's never really been into shoving things up my behind and I miss that...but not in a gay way, of course."
"Having my first prostate exam occur on my birthday and just two weeks before Christmas is a double treat for me. It's got me so excited I've creamed my jeans just thinking about it."
The writer and labour advocate was recently seen in a Victoria's Secret store. "I have to get just the right undergarments for this experience. I think that lacy ones with a trap door in the back for easier access would be best, but I can't decide on red or black. I may have to call on one of my American friends from California for help, considering his large variety of experience in these things."
When asked if he was preparing in any other ways for the procedure, Skoob said that "I'm planning on eating all of the right things to get me really constipated before my procedure. If I'm going to get to pack the fudge, I want to pack as much as possible. Nope, no half measures or enemas for me!"
Mr Skoob also stated that "I have no intentions of getting my doctor to give me a reach around. I want this to be done right and don't expect anyone to do anything extra on my behalf. I've even said that I'm going to pass on the lubricant. People in third world countries don't get the benefit of Vaseline or KY Jelly, so why should I?"
After the exam, Mrs. Skoob plans to take her husband to the movies to watch the latest chick flick, and she then will escort him to lunch sipping tea in a garden and eating cucumber sandwiches. Next, they will see a touring company of The Chippendale's Dancers and follow that with window shopping for shoes. "I want my husband to get the full experience this week, but not in a gay way, of course."