Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 29 November 2009

image for Alicia Keys Pisses Everybody Off By Performing Live On The X-Factor
Alicia Don't Mime. She From Hell's Kitchen Damnit!!

The big X-Factor story tonight is that a little old New York City gal, Alicia Keys, did what no other headlining act has managed so far - she actually sang live on the X-Factor.

Plucky Alicia showed every other celeb mime artist up by actually singing her song, and making a mockery out of her predecessors, who mimed appallingly.

Whitney Houston and Cheryl Cole were reportedly outraged by Keys's audacity, and the judges were a little put out too.

"What's all that about?" Simon Cowell bitched off camera. "She's not playing the game. She's not supposed to sing live. Nobody else does. Apart from the contestants. Rihanna played the game and mimed. Who does Alicia Keys think she is?"

Cheryl Cole declined to comment on Alicia's performance, which is hardly surprising as she mimed her own number one on the show. Because she can't really sing.

Alicia Keys explained that she was just doing her job.

"I sing for a living," she said. "It's what I do. What did the viewers expect me to do?"

Judge Louis Walsh could only drool, think of Jedward, and what might have been.

Alicia Keys - Class act.

Unlike many we could name and shame.

Miming for the great British Public next week, will be Lady Ga-Ga and Janet Jackson,

Start rolling the Spoofs in now folks.

More as we get it.

And hats off to the lovely Alicia Keys.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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