Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 29 November 2009

image for Cheryl Cole's 2010 Nude Calendar Selling Like Hot Cakes!
The cover of Cheryl's all-nude calendar. (NOTE: The black bikini top and bottom have been photoshopped in).

LONDON - Noted singer and famed X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole told a reporter for the BBC that she has just been informed that her 2010 calendar, "Cheryl Cole's 12 Titillating Views" has already sold more copies than any other nude calendar in the history of The United Kingdom.

Cheryl said that at first she was very hesistant to do the calendar which shows her in 12 different settings of total undress.

She added that the only reason she decided to do it was because of the tremendously amazing amount of money that she was offered just to take her clothes off and simply smile for the camera.

Ms. Cole was asked but she refused to reveal how much The Bloomin' British Babes Calendar Company of Bristol paid her to pose in the nude calendar.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up Simon Cowell and I asked him if he knew how much Cheryl had gotten paid for her her nude calendar. Simon said that she was paid 1 million pounds ($1,651,340.02 U.S.)]

When Cheryl was asked what her husband Ashley Cole thought about her posing in the nude knowing that her fabulous body would be ogled by millions of men she just smiled and said hmmm.

She then said that Ashley had gone out and personally purchased 10 of the calendars to give out as Christmas presents to some of the members of the Internets Spoof site who have been extremely supportive of her career.

Ashley remarked that he is thrilled that men like to look at his wife. He pointed out that she certainly has one of the prettiest looking (blanks) that he has ever seen.

He smiled and said that he did not want any one to take his word for it so he suggested that they go out and buy a copy or two of his wife's calendar "Cheryl Cole's 12 Titillating Views."

Ashley was asked which of his wife's 12 poses he liked the best. He thought about it for a while and then said that he liked the December photo.

He said, that one, it is his birth month. And two, in the photo Cheryl is balancing an official Premier League soccer ball on her head while intently gazing at a poster of Chelsea's star player, the number 3 wearing Ashley Cole.

Cheryl was asked which of the 12 photos was her favorite. She put down her Flaming Volcano drink and said that she liked them all.

She blushed and said that she did favor her April photo which showed her sitting among a bunch of Easter eggs while intently petting her Easter bunny.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Easter bunny is not a euphemism for Cheryl's hoo-ha, it is actually an Easter bunny that belonged to Chauncey Houndstooth the photographer who had brought it along for the nude calendar shoot.]

SIDENOTE: Due to the extreme popularity of "Cheryl Cole's 12 Titillating Views" calendar, a second calendar is presently in the works. This one promises to be a little more explicit and the tentative title is "Cheryl Cole - The Pretty Possessor of Great Britain's Greatest Looking Playpen."

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