Written by LisaPisa
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Sunday, 29 November 2009

image for Twilight is Shit
Give me my ticket money back!

it's the movie everyone is talking about (provided you are a stupid teenage girl and like being overcharged at the cinema) but the film Twilight - New Moon is a heap of shit.

Crap graphics, rubbish acting and not enough Robert Pattinson (off sunning himself on a Hawaiian beach) are just some of the complaints heard echoing through the hills and valleys of places where cinema's are located near hills and valleys.

One Welsh school girl said she bought the books and posters but that the film was , quote unquote: "cock"

A girl with too much eye liner and a nose stud described the film as like "losing my virginity to a bicycle pump". She later added that she had not yet lost her virginty and was merely using the words to express her deep regret at having sat through 'shite' and then she cried. Stupid bitch.

I was forced to watch the movie and I can agree on it's stinkyness. In fact you don't even have to go watch the movie: just watch the trailer and you've seen all the best bits.

the movie's producers have stated that the whole thing was a cash-in and that the next one will have Daniel Radcliffe playing a magical boy with a wand. So there.


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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