Written by Egg Man
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Sunday, 29 November 2009

image for Strictly Come Dancing exclusive
Vincent Simone's attempt at the very English ROLIE-POLIE

Vincent Simone the 30 year old ladies man from the BBC production of Strictly Come Dancing prime time Saturday evenings spectacular dramatically let down his dancing partner Natalie Cassidy

Simone's inability to ROLIE-POLIE made Cassidy laugh till her chin wobbled during rehearsals. Simone managed to archive the head in the crutch position but was unable to "tumble" over into the recognised flat on the back position.

This unfortunate disability meant the couple were voted off the show, head judge Len Goodman, the only famous person from Dartford in Kent said:

" It's a shame but I do understand how such an athletic mainovre could be such a challenge for a short arse like Vincent"

When asked how he felt about his failure to inspire and produce an entertaining dance Simone said:

"I hath done my bethed, Natalie did her bethed and I'm thorry if I let her down, I'm really pithed off, dam the rolie-polie. Never mine, I'm thtill Godths gift to women. I'll be back nethed year with new guthtow".

Cassidy told me, a roving dancing expert:

"I will never again be able to look Simone in the eye again, well, not unless he stands on a box. His inability to rolie-polie is inexcusable, it's back to EASTENDERS for me, sod the dancing".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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