Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 29 November 2009

image for Strictly Come Dancing Sends Ex-EastEnder Natalie Cassidy Back Home
Natalie Cassidy waiting at the train station to take the train back home.

LONDON - The latest casualty on Strictly Come Dancing is the ex-soap opera star of the EastEnders Natalie Cassidy.

The 26-year-old actress first found herself in the bottom two and then ended up finding herself trudging out the door.

Her dance partner Vincent Simone took it hard saying that he feels the real reason she lost was because of the dumb looking white polka-dots on black dress with black schoolmarm tights and black shoes that she wore during her dance number.

Simone said that he told Natalie not to wear that particular dress because he knows for a fact that Len Goodman hates white polka dots on a black dress and in fact he has a tendency of breaking out in hives whenever he sees someone wearing white polka dots on a black dress.

Cassidy who not too long ago had breast enhancement surgery that saw her go from a 36-A to a 36-D said that if Mr. Goodman has a problem with white polka dots on a black dress then he should leave it at the door and not bring it into the dance studio where it will affect his decision process.

When Goodman was told of Ms. Cassidy's remarks he replied, "Natty went from a 36-A all the way up to a 36-D? Wow, I had not even noticed.

I mean I can see that the gal has definitely gotten bigger in the boob department, but I did not realize that she had gotten a full three sizes bigger."

Bruno Tonioli who was grinning like the Catanzaro cat that swallowed the Campobasso canary said that he certainly noticed the definite difference in how Natalie used to look when she had the little perkies as compared to how she looks now that she has the fine-looking butterbags.

Even the Australian sidesaddler Craig Revel Horwood said that he also noticed the big 'girls' and added that Ms. Cassidy's new pups looked simply elegant.

Alesha Dixon shook her head and said that Goodman, Tonioli, and even Horwood were all just chauvinistically focusing on the extremely ample bosoms of Natalie Cassidy instead of on her dancing legs.

Alesha went on to add that she wanted to remind the three judges and all of the salivating men watching at home that Strictly Come Dancing is after all a dance show. The show is not called Strictly Come Ogling, or Strictly Come Watching.

Goodman told her to bloomingly shut up. He noted that Natalie was merely just tossing out there what she has. And he said that like it or not this is 2009, soon to be 2010, and nowadays, dancing is not just about a woman's two feet and two legs, it is also about a woman's two knockers or as they call them in East Los Angeles maracas.

Meanwhile in other news. Russell Brand has just announced that he will soon be starring with Gwyneth Paltrow in the romantic comedy based on Lady Godiva entitled, "Do You Think That This Horse Makes My Ass Look Big?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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