Written by IN SEINE
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Friday, 27 November 2009

image for I'm a celebrity, get me out of here! scandal: predator versus predator.
Jordan to turn over a new leaf!

Before the next series of "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!" was planned producers were warned by aboriginal natives that there would be a stalker in the jungle. Of course, Ant & Dec thought they knew what the aborigines meant because they knew the format of the show beforehand.

They were thinking that the 'stalker' would be Jordan a.k.a. Katie Price, the model, but were later proved to be quite wrong. DEAD wrong in fact! Ever since Jordan joined the show she was chosen by the public to take part in many 'bush-tucker trials', which included eating various animal genitalia. She considered it to be all in bad taste and she broke down, cried and demanded to leave the show. It became quite apparent that this was fixed.

A posh bloke in the Slug & Lettuce Winebar, in Shrewsbury told an In Seine News reporter;" his friend is a second cousin, twice removed, of Peter Andre, who used to be married to the top-heavy wench. The relative of Andre told him that Pete had asked him to vote for Jordan all evening. It cost him a fortune! However, as Peter Andre was paying the bill, it gave him great satisfaction in humiliating his ex-wife.

After a Jordan's exit, it became quite apparent that there was yet another 'predator' in the jungle and one by one, the contestants disappeared until only Ant & Dec were left behind - even the camera crew were found hanging from trees dripping with blood.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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